This should be easy to understand

No, I couldn't have entered data into a database if I was not given said data to begin with.

Error Messages

To follow Microsoft's lead, when writing code, the more complicated or difficult the error is to diagnose, make sure that you make the error messages more vague and nondescript, respectively. For instance, if your user has no way of knowing what the cause of the problem is, make sure to make the error message state something along the lines of "Error 10: Unknown error" or "Error 2: General Error", that way the user has absolutely no way of easily diagnosing what the problem is. Or, and this is my favorite, when they go to Online Help, the returned result for the error message is "You should not receive this error".

Power is essential for communication to a server

Shuting down the server instead of restarting is a key factor with your communication issues with it.

Deep Thoughts

DeepThoughtsByJackHandey.com

Genuine Windows

If you decide to install a Microsoft product on more than one system, it's probably not wise to install and run the Microsoft Genuine validation tool.

Huh?

No, your secondary hard drive does not cause problems with Window's DRM files.

Keyboards

Maybe this is why your L, R, P, and Q keys don't work on your keyboard!

Memory effects

No, when I add memory to your computer, it won't affect your spreadsheets

Common misconceptions

Despite common misconceptions, lizards do not help the conductivity of computer power supplies!

Big computers

Big computers sitting on the floor are kinda hard to miss, and hurt when you trip on them.

Must be unplugged

A monitor must be unplugged before walking off with it.

Power

Both ends of the cable must be plugged in for the computer to work. We don't have wireless power yet!